Clearly Cleary
by SD130413
Summary: When Olivia's raped she recognizes the perp but he got away once, can she and the rest of SVU stop it happening again while dealing with an uncooperative victims and Serena Benson who's stopped drinking all for the love of her daughter? DISTURBING SCENE OF SEXUAL VIOLENCE FROM START!
1. Chapter 1

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN L&O SVU OR ANY OF ITS CHARACTERS OR PLOTLINES, JUST MY OWN. **

**A/N: There is NO romance in this story just E/O friendship**

**AND YES this is another SteffieDawn story. Came into my head and I had to write it out!**

It had been a tough day at Manhattan SVU for the squad and after catching a couple of drinks with her friends and co-workers Olivia had gone straight home, showered and crawled into bed. She now slept soundly looking forward to the lie in she would have in the morning thanks to her and Elliot closing two open rape cases in a day, they were pretty pleased with themselves and Don Cragen had been impressed enough to tell them to take the morning off and be in no earlier than one pm.

Olivia was normally a light sleeper. She kept her gun beside her bed for whenever she needed it which meant on hot summer nights like tonight she felt comfortable enough leaving her bedroom window slightly open, unaware that someone was just finding the right moment to climb up the fire escape.

He'd been watching her ever since he'd first met her. She'd failed miserably at catching him for the crime he had committed and now he was about to show her exactly why they couldn't prove it was him. Just in the same way he had before, he wasn't going to change anything about his MO meaning she would know that it was him, the problem was proving it and so he was going to make sure he savoured every last moment of this experience.

She snored lightly as she slept and due to the alcohol in her system and the relaxing evening she had she was sleeping a lot sounder than usual. Olivia didn't hear him climb in through her window. She didn't wake until she felt the weight of the bed change and before she even had time to react she was smacked hard across the face and her nightgown was lifted over her head just enough to immobilise her arms and stop her from seeing.

Desperately she called out 'no' and 'stop' and she began to fight against her attacker but she was powerless as her panties were torn from her body and she felt his nails catch her skin as he grabbed them. The more frantic she struggled the harder it was for her attacker to win but she knew it was only a matter of time, she could do nothing to stop this and so she was just delaying the inevitable, but she couldn't lie back and take it.

Loudly she screamed as he pummelled into her and the tears instantly flooded down her face. She continued to struggle but he had her pinned at the hips and she was just turning him on more.

"Is this how you like it?" He asked her as he continued to push into her making her whimper in terror. "Is this how you like it?" He asked again but she didn't answer as she bit back a sob knowing that her gun was near the bed and if he spotted that then he'd probably kill her.

When he was done he ejaculated over her stomach and she supressed the urge to vomit, knowing that the DNA was vital she shifted hoping that some of it would fall onto the mattress or something because for some reason that she couldn't come up with she knew what was coming next.

"Get up." He told her and she heard him slide her gun from the bedside table.

She was yanked up and she cried out so he smacked the gun across her face but she continued to comply, he had her gun now, there was nothing she could do but survive.

He pushed her into the shower and she crashed into the tiles but she didn't move, she allowed him to turn on the water and take her flannel and wash her body. Her arms still tangled in the night gown above her head.

"Don't look at me." He said jamming the gun into the side of her head and she whimpered weakly, she was chastising herself for not fighting back and feeling so weak but she had no idea how to react.

Suddenly she felt his hands snake around her neck and unclasp her necklace, it was her "fearless" one that was made specifically for her, she and her mother had paid for it together when she first joined SVU as a charm to keep with her, and right now she was worrying more about the necklace than she was about the violent act that had just been done to her.

"I won't belittle you any further by telling you not to call the police Detective Benson." He sniggered before hurrying off.

Olivia listened to him leave. Her eyes scrunched shut, her arms still pinned under the now soaking wet night gown that weighed heavily on her shoulders. She heard her window slam shut and finally she sobbed. As she cried she managed to rip off the over grown t-shirt that she used as a nightgown and drop it in the shower cubicle before hurrying to her bedroom, quickly, she pulled on her robe and grabbed her cell phone dialling nine one one rather than her partner or any other of her co-workers, even though she knew they'd just send SVU anyway, she took a deep composing breath before she spoke.

"My name is Detective Olivia Benson Shield four zero one five I need SVU, CSU and a bus to my apartment address on file." Olivia managed.

"SVU? Detective have you been involved in or witnessed a sex crime?"

Olivia had managed to be professional on the phone but as she sat on the edge of her bed in nothing more than her bathrobe dripping wet from the shower he had made her take she hiccupped a sob which the operator heard.

"I-I-I was raped." She managed.

"Ok is the perpetrator still on the premises?" The operator continued and Olivia knew that everything had already been dispatched and that the operator was trying to keep her calm.

"No." Olivia replied. "He… he left." Olivia managed shakily, she was taking deep careful breaths as she tried to keep calm because right now she didn't even believe it was real.

"Ok Detective Benson SVU, CSU and a bus should be with you shortly, what are your injuries?"

"Bruising, vaginal trauma, possible concussion…" She replied nonchalantly, she was dissociating.

"Ok can you hear the sirens yet?"

Olivia pulled the phone from her ear and she could in fact hear the approaching sirens.

"Yeah… they're here." Olivia sighed with relief.

"Go and let them in, you can hang up as soon as you're ready to." The operator said.

"I'm ok. Thank you for your help." Olivia replied professionally before hanging up the call and rushing to the front door.

She found Cragen, Munch and Fin stood behind the door and that's when she finally crumbled. Her knees gave way beneath her but she didn't cry.

"Ok Liv." Cragen said softly, he was in such a state of shock that he didn't even know what to do as he knelt down beside her.

Olivia didn't flinch when he pulled her into an embrace.

"I'm sorry." She whispered.

"This isn't your fault." Don replied as he ran his hand through her soaking wet her.

"Where's El?" She asked, right now she wanted her partner and best friend.

"He's on his way, he's coming from Queen's so it might take a little longer." Don explained. "Now come on to the couch." Don helped Olivia to her feet and Fin, knowing Olivia's kitchen enough went through and made her a strong black coffee. "Can you tell us briefly what happened Liv?" Don asked. "Not a proper statement just a summary." He said as he would to a victim who had no idea how the criminal justice system worked but Olivia didn't pull him up on it.

"I was asleep. I left my window open a little… I'm normally such a light sleeper…" Olivia hiccupped softly as she tried to keep it together.

"Take your time Liv." Don reassured just as Fin brought through the coffee.

"Thanks." She said giving him a weak but grateful smile.

She was sitting in the middle of the couch with Munch beside her and Don opposite her on the coffee table. Fin slipped into the armchair knowing she wouldn't want to feel over-crowded.

"He uh… climbed up the fire escape I guess… I didn't even realise he was in my room till he was on my bed…" She began to cry again and Don knew that they wouldn't get much out of her if she shut down now. "He pushed my nightgown up so it trapped my arms above my head… and then… and then he… he started raping me… then he said… he said is this how you like it? He said it twice and then he… he ejaculated on my stomach and… and he grabbed my gun… from the bedside table… and…and… and held it to my head and dragged me into the bathroom… then… then he threw me into the shower and he … he washed me…" Olivia's sobs were becoming harsher and she was only just about coherent. "Then he… he took off my necklace, the one my Mom bought me… oh God my necklace…" She took a few deep breaths to compose herself again as she was determined to get through this. "Then he said he wouldn't belittle me anymore by telling me not to call the police and… and he called me Detective Benson… he knew who I was…" Olivia's sobs became too harsh and Don signalled the paramedics to come over while he moved over with Munch and Fin.

"I want CSU in the bedroom and bathroom, no stone is left unturned do I make myself clear, no other case matters…"

"Cap!" Olivia yelled and the three men rushed over to her. "I know who raped me." She hiccupped and the men looked at her in surprise. "Kenneth Cleary, it's his MO, he raped Harper Anderson. It was mine and Elliot's case… she couldn't ID him…I recognized his voice." Olivia began to sob once again just as Elliot rushed into the apartment.

Without thinking he pulled her into his arms and she began hammering her fists at him in a blind panic.

"Get off me! Get off me! No! Don't!" She screamed frantically.

"Liv! Liv! Olivia! It's me Elliot! It's El." He called over her and when she finally realised who it was she fell into him sobbing harshly. "You're ok now Liv, no one's going to hurt you again." He told her softly.

"It was Kenneth Cleary." She whispered to him and his face turned white, they should have been able to get him last time, he should never have been given the opportunity to hurt Olivia.


	2. Chapter 2

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN L&O SVU OR ANY OF ITS CHARACTERS OR PLOTLINES, JUST MY OWN. **

**A/N: There is NO romance in this story just E/O friendship**

Elliot rode with Olivia to the hospital in the ambulance and left her alone when she said she was fine with the nurse helping her into a gown. She'd become completely catatonic on the ride from her apartment to Mercy General and it had scared the living daylights out of Elliot, victims he could manage no problem but Olivia… she was his best friend, his partner, the strongest woman he had ever known and here she was… a victim in her own right and he had no idea where to begin trying to help her.

The nurse stepped out of Olivia's room and smiled sadly to Elliot.

He calmed himself down before attempting to enter Olivia's room. He needed not only to mentally prepare himself to see what was behind the door but also get over the fact that she was being typical stubborn Olivia when it came to doing the rape kit because she should know that they needed every aspect of evidence they could get.

Once he felt calm enough he slipped into the small room and was faced with a still catatonic Olivia staring into space.

"Hey Liv." He said softly as he walked to the bed.

She didn't reply, she didn't even acknowledge his presence except for the slight jump she'd made when he first opened the door.

He watched as she subconsciously fingered her neck. She would do that when she was stressed, nervous, bored. She would often play with the small golden pendant that her mother had helped her buy when she made SVU Detective and he could only imagine how hard she was taking not having it to play with, it would soothe her but without it… he slipped his hands around his own neck and unclasped the golden chain he wore. Slowly, so not to scare her, he walked to her and told her softly to sit up a bit. She did as he asked just because she didn't want a fight but she was barely registering what was going on. Without a second thought he slipped the Saint Michael's pendant around her neck and fastened it and she looked at him and gave him a genuine yet weak smile that some would mistake for a grimace before returning to her catatonic state of staring at a blank piece of wall, this time though the pendant clasped in her fingers for her to play with.

"Liv, you need to do the rape kit. I know it's going to be hard for you but you need to do it so we can get some evidence." Elliot told him softly.

"He washed me El." Olivia sighed. "He… he ejaculated on my stomach and then washed me, so no DNA, my arms were pinned so I couldn't scratch him, no DNA." She sighed heavier. "I'll … they can photograph the bruises and do a pelvic though for physical proof of force and… and then I want the shots and the pills and then… then I just want to go home." Her voice cracked as she spoke and it tugged hard on Elliot's heart strings because she was desperately trying to stay strong.

"Ok we'll get what we can from the kit Liv. Don's gone to get your Mom…"

"No!" She yelled cutting him off. "No! She can't know El, she… she told me that working SVU would make me a victim, she said I made myself vulnerable to getting raped and I can't… I can't prove her right … please call him and tell him to not bother…"

"He already text Liv, they're on their way and according to him your Mom's sober so that's good right?" Elliot said softly taking her hand and giving it a reassuring squeeze.

"I never wanted to be like her…" Olivia hiccupped she'd only been at SVU a year and a half and she'd already become a victim of one of the crimes… she hated herself for it but there was nothing she could do about it now.

"You're not like her Liv, you're stronger and you'll get through this." Elliot said clasping her hand tight in his own.

"Just leave me alone El." She told him firmly. "Get the doctor so I can do the kit and go home."

"Ok." He nodded knowing that the sooner she got the kit done the sooner she could leave. "Do you want anyone in here with you when they're doing the kit?"

"No, I'm ok." Olivia shrugged, she was being much stronger than anyone anticipated.

"I'll be right outside." Elliot told her and she nodded, she knew he would be.

He left Olivia alone while he went to get the Doctor and explain about the rape kit. He was relieved that the gynaecologist on duty was a female knowing how hard it would be for any woman to have a male doctor in this situation.

As promised he stood outside Olivia's room while the Doctor entered and he hoped that she was strong enough to get through this.

"Hi Olivia my name's Doctor Hannah I'm going to do the rape kit ok?" She smiled at Olivia softly and Olivia nodded.

"I only need the photographs and pelvic, he ejaculated on my stomach and washed me and my arms were pinned so there's no point looking under my nails." Olivia told her stoically, she was dissociating and focusing more on her Detective Personality than any other.

"Ok we'll comb you too and take some swabs just to be on the safe side and we'll use the UV to see if he managed to wash it all, you never know." The Doctor said calmly, and Olivia just nodded and got up to do the pictures.

She looked at her naked body as the photographs were taken, she could see the handprint bruises on her hips where he'd held her down, the large bruises on each thigh where he'd forced her legs apart. She also knew her back and shoulders were badly bruised. She had two large bruises on her face, one which had a small incision where the barrel of the gun had scratched her skin. There were also three quite deep scratches above her pubic bone where he'd roughly grabbed her panties and his nails had caught her. She had a large purple bruise around her left wrist where he'd yanked her from the bed and gripped her tight when he pulled her into the bathroom.

Once the pictures were done she quickly pulled the gown back on while the stirrups were taken out. She hadn't even climbed up on the bed before her heart began hammering in her chest and her breath was only taken in tiny short bursts.

"Olivia?" The doctor asked but she shook her head frantically, she was having a panic attack. "Ok take deep slow breaths for me ok?"

Olivia nodded in reply and focused on her breathing for a moment.

"I want my Mom." Olivia managed.

"Is your mom here?"

"Should be." Olivia replied and the Doctor nodded and made her way out of the door.

Don was sitting with Elliot and Serena was pacing the floor. She wanted a drink but right now she knew her baby girl needed her and needed her sober.

The Doctor stepped out of the room and they all jumped up to see if everything was ok.

"She's asking for her Mom."

"That's me." Serena said taking a step forward and the Doctor gave her a sympathetic smile before opening the door for Serena to step in first.

She didn't hesitate in rushing in and Olivia who was still stood up rushed to her.

"Mom." She cried and Serena wrapped her up in an embrace, this was unlike them but this was a situation unlike any other.

"Ok Olivia, you're ok." Serena cooed stroking her hand through her daughter's hair, inside she was angry, furious, at the man who'd hurt her baby, at Olivia herself for being stupid but right now none of that mattered.

"Ok Olivia are you ready to carry on?" The Doctor asked and Olivia nodded weakly.

"Don't leave me?" She asked her Mom.

"I'm going nowhere Olivia." Serena said sitting beside the exam table that Olivia had just climbed onto.

Olivia reached out her hand to her Mom and for some reason Serena didn't think twice in taking it.

"Thank you for being here." Olivia whispered as the Doctor guided her legs into the stirrups.

"You're my daughter Olivia, I wouldn't be anywhere else." Serena told her softly and Olivia felt a lump rise in her throat and managed to nod.

She whimpered as the Doctor parted her knees and Olivia squeezed her Mom's hand. Serena jumped from her seat and leant over Olivia hoping to somehow calm her.

"At the dark end, of the street, that's where we always meet, hiding in shadows where we don't belong, living in darkness to hide our wrong…" Serena sang softly, it had been years since she'd sang to Olivia but it seemed to relax her, she breathed shakily but closed her eyes and leaned her head towards her mother. "… you and me, at the dark end of the street. You and me."

Olivia whimpered as photos were taken of the before treatment but as Serena ran her hand that wasn't clutched tight in Olivia's through her hair and continued to sing Olivia found herself taking deep gentle breath's and listening to her Mom's sweet and for once sober voice singing the song from her childhood.

"I know time, is gonna take its toll, we have to make up for the love we stole, it's a sin and we know it's wrong, oh but our love is coming on strong, steal away to the dark end of the street." Serena continued softly as silent tears fell down Olivia's cheek.

"Ahh." She gasped and whimpered as the intrusive metal objects pinched her skin.

"They're gonna find, us, they're gonna find us, they're gonna find us, lord someday, you and me, at the dark end of the street, you and me." Serena continued knowing how much both physical and mental pain her baby was in.

The Doctor didn't bother telling Olivia what she was doing as Olivia would tense up and make the procedure harder but she went ahead to stich Olivia up anyway.

"And when the daylight rolls around, and by chance we're both downtown, if we should meet just walk on by, oh darling, please don't cry, tonight we'll meet, at the dark end of the street."

"I'm all done." The doctor said pushing the stirrups together a little as a sign Olivia could close her legs.

"That's it Olivia, you've done it baby." Serena reassured and all Olivia did was whimper and nod in reply.

Serena leant over the table and kissed her daughter's forehead softly, instantly relaxing the shaking detective.

"Mom…" She said shakily.

"You're ok Olivia." Serena reassured as Olivia sat upright and moved her legs from the stirrups so they could be moved and she could get out of the bed.

"There's no reason I need to stay?" Olivia asked the Doctor, she hated hospitals.

"No, you can go as soon as I've given you the shots and the pills." The Doctor replied and Olivia nodded gratefully.

"I'm sorry Mom." Olivia said turning to look at Serena Benson, and for the first time Olivia could see that the older Benson had been crying.

"Why are you sorry Olive? You've got nothing to be sorry about." Serena told her. "Isn't that what you told me all those years ago, that none of what happened to me was my fault?"

"Yeah." Olivia nodded.

"Then for once Olive take your own advice, now are you coming home with me tonight?" Serena asked.

Olivia thought for a moment, her house was a crime scene so she had no hope going in there so she nodded in reply, she wanted to go home to the apartment she'd grown up in with her mother.

"Ok, now your friends are outside you want them to come in? I'm sure they want to see you." Serena continued and Olivia saw more of a real Mom in Serena than she had ever seen growing up.

Olivia just nodded and let go of Serena's hand while she went to let in Cragen and Elliot.

"Hey Liv." Elliot smiled softly.

"Hi." Olivia replied a little shyly, she didn't know what to say to him.

"Uh John and Fin brought some clothes from the house for you." Elliot said signalling a bag he had in his hand.

"Tell them thanks from me?" She asked and he nodded.

"Kit?" Don asked her softly knowing she would know what it entailed.

"Positive for intercourse negative for fluids." Olivia replied with a look of shame crossing her face.

The Doctor interrupted anything else being said by coming in with a tray lined with injections and pills.

"Ok this one is…"

"I know what they're for." Olivia replied picking up the first cup of pills and knocking them back without hesitating.

She did this with the other three pots but the fourth everyone saw her hesitate.

"Olive baby what's wrong?" Serena asked seeing Olivia had stopped.

"I…I don't know if I can or should take it…" She whispered.

Serena was confused so looked up at Don and Elliot who had more of a chance of knowing what it was.

"Liv, it's your choice but maybe you could tell your Mom what it is and ask her advice." Elliot suggested and Olivia looked at her Mom and then closed her eyes, she really didn't know what to do.

"Olive?" Serena asked gently and Olivia sighed.

"It's the morning after pill." Olivia told her and Serena nodded.

"Olivia, you weren't a mistake, I got pregnant because of that rape because it was meant to be but I can't say given the option back then that I wouldn't have taken the pill even though, I wouldn't change you for the world." Serena told her. "It's your choice and I'll back you up whatever you chose to do."

"He didn't even ejaculate inside me anyway." Olivia said throwing the pills into her mouth and gulping the water down. "So it's just a precaution."

Serena kissed Olivia's temple as the last shot was given and the Doctor explained quickly about the HIV test which one Olivia knew about and two she knew that Harper's had been negatives so if it was the same person which she knew it was.

"Ok I'll bring through the discharge papers Olivia, you can get dressed." The Doctor smiled.

"We'll be right outside." Don said calmly and Olivia nodded.

Serena helped Olivia's bruised and aching body change from the hospital gown into the NYPD sweats and t-shirt that Munch and Fin had grabbed for her and then when the Doctor returned with the discharge papers she signed them quickly and allowed her Mom to take her home.


	3. Chapter 3

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN L&O SVU OR ANY OF ITS CHARACTERS OR PLOTLINES, JUST MY OWN. **

**A/N: There is NO romance in this story just E/O friendship**

Olivia and Serena were dropped off by Elliot and he promised Olivia he'd pick her up for work in the morning knowing there was no way that she would take a day off. Once in the apartment Olivia saw how nothing had changed. Considering her Mom was a falling down drunk she was an immaculately clean woman and the house always smelled of bleach and furniture polish.

"Your room is just how you left it Olive." Serena told her and Olivia gave her a big hug which Serena returned. "You're going to be ok, you're not like me Olivia, you're stronger than I ever was."

Olivia nodded and hurried off to her old bedroom and like her Mom said, it was exactly how she'd left it when she went to college and never returned.

She dove into the bed and curled up tight beneath the duvet before beginning to finally have a proper cry. She needed the release.

Serena stood outside her daughter's bedroom door and her heart ached to hold her but she couldn't. Another part of her wanted a drink and badly but she wasn't going to get drunk while her daughter needed her so she hurried through to the kitchen and pulled out every bottle she had in the house, she had stopped hiding them when Olivia moved out because there wasn't a need to.

One by one she emptied the contents of the bottle down the drain and even though when she smelt the liquid she wanted nothing more than to knock it back she wouldn't do it because Olivia needed her to be sober and strong, she never showed Olivia before but her daughter meant everything to her and she knew she wouldn't have survived if it wasn't for her daughter and now her daughter needed her and needed her to be strong for her.

"Mom?" Olivia questioned, she'd come to see if her Mom had any coffee when she caught her Mom tipping the bottles down the sink.

"Olivia are you ok?" Serena asked as she dropped another empty bottle into the garbage can.

"Yeah… Mom what are you doing?" Olivia asked.

"Being strong for you." Serena replied her hand shaking as withdrawal began to kick in.

"Mom…" Olivia said with tears stinging her eyes.

"It's ok Olivia, I need to be strong for you now." Serena said stepping forward and taking her daughter into her arms and holding her tight.

"It's going to hurt Mom, alcohol withdrawal is a bitch." Olivia whispered as her Mom held her.

"I know. But I'll get through it for you Olive Oil." Serena smiled and Olivia laughed through her tears at the use of her childhood nickname.

"Thank you." Olivia replied and she meant it, her Mom was going to go through more pain than ever before as she withdrew from alcohol and she was doing it for Olivia.

"You're my daughter and you need me and I am going to do this Olivia, because you've shown me how strong you can be and I can be like that, you're an inspiration to me Olivia and even though over the years I abused you mentally and physically you still were strong for me when I needed you to be and it's my turn now, it's my turn to be the Mommy in this relationship." Serena cooed as Olivia cried silently. "Come on Olivia, time to go to bed." Serena told her softly and Olivia nodded in agreement and allowed Serena to lead her to the bedroom and tuck her into bed.

"Night Mom." Olivia said quietly.

"Goodnight Olivia." Serena replied switching off the bedroom light. "I'm in my bedroom if you need me."

Serena took a deep breath and wondered how the lack of alcohol would affect her body and mind in hours to come but she was determined, for the first time since her rape, she was determined to stop for Olivia.

When Olivia woke from a nightmare she glanced at the clock beside her bed and found it to be gone five in the morning. There was no way she was getting back to sleep so she climbed out of bed and wondered out into the dark apartment. That's when she heard the horrible sound of heaving coming from her Mom's bathroom.

"Mom?" Olivia asked approaching Serena's personal space, she'd never been allowed in there as a child unless Serena was passed out in an alcoholic stupor.

"Olive Oil?" Serena asked weakly before vomiting again.

Olivia knew her Mom was withdrawing from alcohol and quickly hurried inside and rubbed her back.

"Don't." Serena said shrugging her daughter off.

"Mom…"

"No Olive I have to do this… myself." Serena said between bouts of dry heaving.

"Want me to get you anything?" Olivia asked.

"Vodka?" Serena joked weakly. "Water."

"Ok I'll be right back." Olivia replied, having her Mom in such a position made her momentarily forget her own pain.

Later on that morning Elliot, as promised, picked Olivia up for work, she smiled weakly at him as she got into the passenger seat but he wasn't going to question her about anything now.

"Did you sleep alright?" He asked dumbly.

"Fine." She replied, the lie seeping from her mouth easily, her sleep had been plagued with nightmares.

"How's your Mom?" He continued, he just wanted to hear her voice, still as strong and confident as ever which was surprising considering what she had gone through.

"She's… she's going cold turkey." Olivia sighed. "She's a bit of a mess but she's determined that she won't have a drink, I caught her last night emptying all her bottles down the sink."

"Wow." Elliot said in surprise.

"Yeah." Olivia nodded. "Who'd have thought it would take me being raped for her to kick the drink?" Olivia spat. "It's half tempting to say if I'd known I'd have let it happen years ago."

Elliot supressed a laugh, that was typical Olivia but he knew that inside she was screaming out.

"They found your gun at the apartment, he never took it and they picked up your shield too, CSU should finish up today." Elliot continued and Olivia nodded softly, she was still in some form of shock at everything that had happened, it hadn't quite sunk in.

"He didn't take my gun?" Olivia questioned.

"No it was on the bed, he must have thrown it there before climbing back out of the window." Elliot explained and Olivia nodded understanding, it was strange that he'd used a gun, with Harper it had been her curling iron, he must have used whatever he had to hand as a 'gun' while the victim couldn't see, the only difference with Olivia the closest thing to hand was a real gun.

"Do you know if Cragen is putting me on a desk?" Olivia asked.

"I don't know, he didn't say but probably." Elliot replied. "You can't work this case."

"I know that." Olivia snapped. "Sorry."

"Don't worry about it." Elliot told her gently, he knew she was in the beginning of PTSD and that she would be reacting in all sorts of ways which were out of character.

Olivia just gave him a weak smile that many would pass as a grimace before they continued the rest of their journey in a comfortable silence.

At the one six Olivia was quick to notice her own picture up on the crime board, the only thing she was grateful for was that they'd slightly enlarged the one of her and her mother that was on her desk rather than the one of her badly bruised and beaten face. She'd gone to put her makeup on in the mirror before work and saw that no amount of makeup would cover her bruised and cut cheeks so she'd just left them all natural.

"Olivia, you got a minute?" Don called from the door of his office.

She jumped at the sound of his voice and he instantly chastised himself inwardly.

She to a deep breath and cursed herself for reacting in such a way to a voice she was so used to hearing calling her for numerous different reasons.

Shoving her hands into her back jean pockets she walked as confidently as she could over to Don Cragen's office.

"How are you?" He asked as soon as he'd closed the door behind her.

"Fine." She shrugged.

"Liv…"

"I'm fine." She stressed with a slight smile on her face which was meant to convince him but more to convince him otherwise.

"Ok." He sighed and shook his head, she would never open up to him and that was obvious. "You have to sit down with Huang before I give you your gun back." He told her and she sighed and turned to look through the blinds at the bullpen.

"Liv." Don said dropping his hand onto her shoulder and making her jump and jerk away.

"Sorry." She whispered as the tears filled her eyes and she blinked it back desperately.

"It's ok." He reassured as he held his hands up in a surrendering position, he didn't want to intimidate or shake her up anymore. "Will you talk to Huang for me?"

"Fine." She shrugged even though she knew one sit down with Huang wasn't going to change anything, she'd been raped and now she was slowly sinking further and further into PTSD and there was no way out.

"Good, he's upstairs." Don smiled softly.

"Uh Don there's something else." Olivia said turning to look at her superior. "Last night when, when my mother took me home she… she … she emptied all her bottles down the drain…"

Don's face was in shock at this revelation.

"I know right." Olivia shrugged. "She said… she said now I needed her to be strong for me that she had to be strong for herself too and… and this morning she was really going through withdrawal and I have no idea what to do with her and …"

"You leave your Mom to me Liv, we've been friends long enough that hopefully she'll let me help her." Don told her. "The last thing you need is to be worrying about your Mom withdrawing when you've got your own shit to deal with."

"Thanks Don I appreciate it." Olivia gave him a faint smile and Don nodded. "Uh she might be to zonked to open the door so… here are my keys, it's the half gold half silver one, my Mom got them made thinking they were adorable." Olivia rolled her eyes as she handed them over.

"I'll take care of it, go see George." Don told her and she nodded and left the office looking much more vulnerable and fragile than Don had ever seen her.


	4. Chapter 4

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN L&O SVU OR ANY OF ITS CHARACTERS OR PLOTLINES, JUST MY OWN. **

**Ok so I forgot about Brian Cassidy but I kinda want him in this so I'm going to scribble him in but keep Fin in too, somehow it will work. I hope.**

**Anyhow, I kinda said Olivia was raped 6 weeks or so after Harper's rape, well it was 6 months before they found Cleary so that changes things because she knew it was Clearly.**

**A/N: There is NO romance in this story just E/O friendship**

Olivia made it to the bottom of the stairs before she stopped. Don had already left the bullpen to go and help her mother which she was more than grateful for but she knew she had to speak with Huang. The problem was she felt like there was something else she needed to do before talking to the shrink, she couldn't make her way up the stairs.

A hand on her lower back made her swing her fist around and it collided with the cheek of the person she'd touched.

"Brian!" She gasped her hands flying to cover her mouth.

"I'm good." He said getting to his feet.

He wasn't as fine as he said he was. His lip had already swollen and had a nice thick bleeding cut.

"I'm… I'm…" She stuttered but she couldn't even begin to put together a coherent sentence so she shook her head before running off for the exit of the squad room.

* * *

Elliot who had been getting ready to having to take Olivia's statement saw Brian sat at his desk with an ice pack to his lip. He didn't feel sorry for the guy as he'd been a bit of an ass with Olivia since she slept with him and told him she didn't want to pursue anything further.

"What happened to your lip Cassidy?" Elliot asked as she slipped into his desk chair.

"I scared Benson..." Cassidy sighed.

"What?" Elliot yelled.

"Not on purpose!" Cassidy yelled back and Elliot relaxed just enough to show he wasn't about to hit Cassidy.

"Well?" he said wanting an explanation.

"She came out of Cragen's office, watched him leave and then walked to the stairs like she was going to go up them and then she froze so I went up to her and I put my hand on her back and she freaked and punched me… I didn't mean to upset her."

"You never touch a rape victim from behind." Elliot reminded him.

"I know! I just find it hard to see Benson as a victim and I forgot, like it slipped my mind I just saw her frozen and wondered what was wrong." Cassidy explained further with an exasperated sigh.

"Just… be weary yeah, we don't know how to manage when the vics one of our own, it's completely different." Elliot said calmly. "Where did she go?"

"I don't know, she just ran off." Cassidy sighed.

"You let her go? Cassidy her rapist is still out there and he knows who she is!" Elliot yelled grabbing his phone to call her.

"I never meant… I mean I didn't… why don't we pick up Cleary?" Cassidy asked, he was very troubled by this case.

"We can't without Olivia's statement." He said after slamming down his phone. "Now I'm going to find her."

* * *

"Please Harper, I know you don't want to talk to me as a cop but it's not why I'm here!" Olivia yelled through the door, she couldn't forget how Harper had freaked last time she'd been there and as soon as Harper had opened the door and seen Olivia she's slammed it shut.

"Go away!" She heard coming from behind the door and Olivia sighed heavily.

"Please! Harper! He raped me too!" Olivia yelled with tears stinging her eyes.

The door opened and a very sorry looking Harper looked Olivia up and down and took in the bruised and cut cheeks, the tear filled eyes and the completely shattered Detective.

"Come in." Harper said opening the door wider for Olivia to enter.

Olivia followed Harper through to the kitchen where the large picture of Kenneth Cleary's mug shot adjourned the wall.

She swallowed hard and her eyes looked straight into the eyes of the man that took something so precious from her.

"Why don't you go sit in the living room Detective?" Harper asked guessing that the last thing Olivia needed to see was a large picture of Cleary, she'd had time to get over her rape, Olivia's must have happened recently for the bruises to be so fresh.

"No it's fine." Olivia said finally taking her eyes from the picture to look at Harper who was pouring two glasses of wine. "And please, off the clock it's Olivia." She added.

"Here Olivia, I guess you need this." Harper said handing over the wine.

Olivia knew she was officially on the clock having refused to take time off and that she shouldn't be drinking on the job, especially considering her Mom but she didn't care, a glass of wine was exactly what she needed and she took the glass with a grateful smile.

"Thanks." She said weakly.

"When did it happen?" Harper asked.

"Last night." Olivia said after taking a long sip of her wine. "I haven't even given my statement yet, but he'll go down for this Harper, I know it was him for definite."

"But did you see his face?" Harper asked having looked so much into rape cases she was practically an expert.

"No I heard his voice, and I recognised him, I'll have to do a formal voice ID once I've given my statement and the people I work with pick him up." Olivia said. "I just needed to talk to…" Olivia was interrupted by the shrill ring of her phone. "Sorry."

Harper sipped her wine while Olivia retrieved her phone from her pocket, looked at the caller ID and then rejected the call.

"Your partner? Stabler right?" Harper asked.

"Yeah." Olivia nodded. "Last person I want to talk to right now." She said with a slight chuckle.

"You can ask me anything Olivia, I'll be honest with you." Harper said softly and Olivia nodded and finished the rest of her glass of wine.

Knowing what Olivia was going through Harper filled it up again with a reassuring smile and Olivia took another small sip before she looked at Harper.

"How did you do it?" She asked in a near whisper.

"Do what?" Harper replied, she wished she didn't have to ask because she knew it was tearing Olivia up to be in such a vulnerable position, just as it had her nearly seven months before.

"Tell us what happened in so much detail?" Olivia asked.

"Pretend I was talking about someone else, or a dream or something."

"Dissociate." Olivia said nodding a little. "I did that when he was… when he was raping me, pretended it was happening to someone else, it was like I was just watching it happen in some way." Olivia sighed heavily.

"I did too." Harper told her reassuringly. "Olivia, you're a sex crimes cop, you know what happens, you just need to remind yourself that you're strong enough to face it."

"Yeah." Olivia replied just as her phone rang again and she knew he wouldn't go away unless she answered it. "Benson." She snapped into the phone. "Harper Anderson's… fine… see you in ten."

"Ok?" Harper asked.

"Yeah my partners coming to pick me up." Olivia said. "I have to go give my statement so that they can pick up Cleary."

"Ok… will you call me?" Harper asked.

Olivia looked at the woman who had obviously come leaps and bounds since her assault and still saw some vulnerability there.

"I will." Olivia replied.

"Thank you." Harper nodded, she was very grateful that Olivia trusted her enough to come and talk to her about her own assault, she knew that Olivia had a lot more questions, and a long way to go but she hoped that she could help the Detective do it.


	5. Chapter 5

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN L&O SVU OR ANY OF ITS CHARACTERS OR PLOTLINES, JUST MY OWN. **

**So this story is 7 chapters long so this is number 5 only 2 to go!**

Once Olivia's statement was recorded in full by Elliot and Cassidy they went to pick up Kenneth Cleary while Olivia sat in Don Cragen's office with a coffee and an embrace from her shaking mother who wanted to be there but was still suffering from Alcohol Withdrawal Symptoms.

"You're ok." Serena cooed as she ran her fingers through her daughters long brown locks.

Olivia said nothing just snuggled her cheek further into her mother's chest as they cuddled on the old brown couch.

Across town Elliot and Cassidy climbed out of the Sedan to a scene between Mrs Cleary and Harper Anderson.

"Oh God." Elliot moaned at seeing the women.

"Come on." Cassidy sighed, he didn't want to make this process any harder than it had to be for either of them because they had to put all personal feeling aside to get Olivia justice.

"You're enabling a rapist!" Harper screamed as she scuffled with Mrs Cleary.

Elliot quickly grabbed Harper while Cassidy grabbed Mrs Cleary.

"When are you going to stop her?" Mrs Cleary asked just as a car came to a screeching halt and Kenneth Cleary climbed out of it.

"What is going on here?" Cleary asked going to straight to comfort his wife.

"Mr Cleary where were you last night?" Elliot asked having finally let go of Harper.

"Home with my wife." He replied straight.

"Don't lie!" Harper yelled. "You were raping Detective Benson last night!"

"You obviously forgot to take your lithium" He said to harper. "Clearly she's deranged." He told Elliot.

Harper quickly grabbed a hold of a pipe that hung out of a garbage can and smashed it against Cleary's car windscreen.

"I want her arrested!" Cleary yelled.

Elliot sighed and looked at Cassidy who stepped to Harper.

"Harper Anderson you're under arrest, you have the right to remain silent…"

"I know my rights, but he's the rapist and I'm getting arrested?" Harper yelled clearly pissed off.

"Sorry but that's criminal damage Harper." Cassidy explained as he cuffed her.

"Kenneth Cleary you're under arrest, you have the right to remain silent anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law, you have the right to an attorney, if you cannot afford one then one will be provided for you, do you understand these rights as I have read them to you?" Elliot asked as he snapped the cuffs on the man who raped his best friend and partner and squeezed them extra tight.

Cleary said nothing and was led to an awaiting squad car by Elliot while his distraught wife looked on in shock.

* * *

Olivia was curled in her mother's lap sleeping when Cassidy and Elliot arrived back. They looked at her softly and then turned to their superior.

"We have both Harper Anderson and Kenneth Cleary in custody." Elliot informed Cragen.

"Why Anderson?" Cragen asked confused.

"Criminal damage, smashed the windshield on Cleary's car." Cassidy replied.

"Void the arrest, Cleary can make a complaint to his local precinct if he's that desperate but right now I think Harper Anderson may be able to help Liv deal with this and she can't do that from a jail cell." He said just as Olivia began to whimper in her sleep.

"Ok what do you want us to do with Cleary?" Elliot asked.

"He lawyered up?"

"Yeah."

"Then get more evidence, we have twenty four hours to hold him and we don't have to say a word to him. Olivia said that her necklace is missing, Mrs Cleary had Harper's ring, chances are high she'd have Liv's necklace, go find out." Cragen said. "Meanwhile, bring Harper in here, I think Olivia could do with a friendly supportive face when she wakes up…" The three men looked at Olivia who was visibly having a nightmare in her mother's lap and Elliot and Brian nodded before walking out.

* * *

"Mrs Cleary, we're looking for this necklace, it was taken from Detective Benson's throat during her rape, the rape she believes your husband committed against her. It's a one of a kind necklace that she and her mother designed when she got her shield, it's pertinent that we find this. If you have it in your possession we would like it returned." Elliot said handing the woman a sketch of the necklace and a picture of Olivia wearing it. "I know this is hard for you Mrs Cleary, but think how hard it is for Detective Benson right now who is going to have to sit in a room and listen to men tell her what was said to her during her attack so she can formally ID your husband, she then has to go to court, relive every horrifying detail of her assault. Please, if you have this necklace, it could help us get her some justice." He gave her a curt nod before walking away knowing she would need time to look at the pictures and think through exactly what handing that necklace over would mean.

Meanwhile at the one six Olivia had woken up screaming from her nightmare to have both Harper and her Mom console her.

"I can't do this." Olivia sobbed into her mother's shoulder.

"Yes you can Olive Oil, you're stronger than I ever was." Serena replied.

"You're stronger than me too Olivia, and I got through it." Harper reassured as she rubbed the shaking Detective's back.

Cragen entered the office and felt sickened by the sight he saw, a crumbling Olivia Benson brought tears to his eyes and an ache to his heart.

"Olivia his lawyer is here as is Alex, are you ready to do the voice ID?" Cragen asked and Olivia took a deep breath and turned her tear ridden face to face her superior.

"Yes." She said.

"Ok Ms Benson, Ms Anderson, you'll both have to wait here I'm afraid." Cragen said apologetically.

"We'll be right here when you get back." Serena reassured her.

"Of course we will. You'll do good Olivia." Harper said remembering how reassuring Olivia had been to her when she had done the ID and gotten it wrong.

Olivia nodded before following her commanding officer through to the viewing room where a black curtain had been pulled across the mirror so Olivia couldn't see inside.

"Ok Olivia, you know how this works, are you ready?" Alex asked gently.

"Yeah." Olivia said in a mere whisper ignoring the defence attorney behind her.

"Ok." Alex gave her a reassuring smile before nodding to Cragen.

"Could you each say 'is this how you like it'." Cragen spoke into the intercom and Olivia shut her eyes.

"Is this how you like it?"

"Is this how you like it?"

"Is this how you like it…"

"Bastard." Olivia opened her eyes. "Number three. That's him." Olivia began to shake. "Number three is the voice of the man who raped me."

She looked at Cragen and then at Alex before walking out avoiding the defence attorney altogether.

"She's heard Cleary speak when she interrogated him for the other woman's attack, I can get this line up thrown out." He said to Alex who was seething with anger.

"Do what you want but Detective Benson ID'd her attacker minutes after the police arrived, she told them clearly that Kenneth Cleary was the man who raped her, she recognised his voice." Alex said before walking out and Cragen followed soon after.

Cragen walked into his office to see Serena Benson sitting there alone.

"Where's Liv?" He asked her softly, he'd grown very fond of Serena Benson since he'd first met her at Olivia's promotion when she joined SVU.

"She and Harper said they needed to blow off steam, went to Westside range."

"Shooting range?" Cragen asked in disbelief.

"Both of them are permitted, they're not breaking any laws and quite frankly I'm glad Olivia is doing something but feeling sorry for herself or… or losing herself in a bottle." Serena said as Don passed her a bottle of water.

"She'll get through this Serena." Don said.

"I know she will." Serena replied. "She's stronger than I ever was."

* * *

"What are you using?" Olivia asked after Harper emptied the clip into the figure.

"Fifty Calibre, double action desert eagle, fourteen shot clip. Took me a month to learn how to hold it level." Harper told someone she knew was a new friend not just the cop who worked her case. "Suckers nearly forty ounces with a full load."

"Harper, a fourteen round clip is illegal in New York." Olivia said the cop in her coming out.

"Here, didn't know that." Harper said taking the clip off.

Olivia looked at it then not giving a damn filled it up and took the gun.

"My turn." Olivia smirked and Harper laughed, this was them momentarily forgetting about Kenneth Cleary. "Just never tell anyone that I shot this, I could lose my job."

"Secrets safe with me Olivia." Harper smiled, she knew Olivia knew how to handle a gun and had her own permit so she slipped on her earplugs and headphones and watched as Olivia shot the whole load into the head of the figure.

"Nice." Harper smiled.

"You wanna go for a drink?" Olivia asked and Harper smiled.

"Sure."

Once they left the range they were both in quite a good mood. They walked together towards a tapas bar that Harper had mentioned discussing pointless things like guns and celebrity gossip, whatever it took to keep their minds off what had happened to them at the hands of Kenneth Cleary.

What neither one of them expected was for them to run into Mrs Cleary outside Harper's apartment.

"I was just writing you a note…" She said shakily.

"Really?" Harper hissed, Olivia wasn't going to step in unless necessary.

"I'm sorry for what happened… to both of you." She glanced awkwardly at Olivia.

"You didn't do it Mrs Cleary." Harper said while Olivia stayed silent.

"You said I was enabling a rapist." Mrs Cleary replied.

"I shouldn't have." Harper said calmly and Olivia was surprised at how composed she was, Olivia knew had it been her talking she would have been shouting angrily about a woman alibiing her rapist husband.

"He's my husband." Mrs Cleary shrugged awkwardly. "I feel responsible for… I feel guilty. I want you both to know that." She had tears filling her eyes.

"What made you change your mind?" Olivia asked her voice a mere whisper but Mrs Cleary heard her loud and clear.

Mrs Cleary went into her purse and pulled out a zip lock bag with one simple golden necklace. Olivia reached over and took it into her hand.

"My necklace." Olivia said tears filling her own eyes.

"Come on, we should go to the precinct." Harper said wrapping an arm around Olivia.

Mrs Cleary nodded knowing she would have to give a statement.


	6. Chapter 6

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN L&O SVU OR ANY OF ITS CHARACTERS OR PLOTLINES, JUST MY OWN. **

**A/N: Penultimate chapter! **

Olivia and Harper stayed in Cragen's office with Serena while Mrs Cleary gave her statement. They were on edge knowing that she was possibly putting the final nail in Kenneth Cleary's coffin.

Two hours after arriving the station the women found themselves sitting in arraignment court.

"File ending six four five zero People Vs Kenneth Cleary, one count rape in the first degree, One count sexual abuse in the first degree, One count robbery in the second degree, one count criminal possession of stolen property in the fifth."

As the charges were read out Kenneth Cleary turned to where Olivia, Serena, Harper and Mrs Cleary all sat together and smirked obnoxiously. Serena squeezed her daughter's hand as she made eye contact with the piece of scum that violated her beautiful baby girl. His face dropped which satisfied her just a little, he had to know he wasn't getting away with it.

"How do you plead?"

"Not guilt." The defence attorney replied and Cleary finally turned to face the front.

Olivia didn't even listen to the argument about bail. She felt sick when she heard he would get bail.

Outside the court room the four women spoke briefly with Alex Cabot about matters of trial.

"I'm going to stay with my sister." Mrs Cleary said.

"Ok anything I can do for you?" Alex asked knowing how hard it must be for the woman.

"Know a good divorce lawyer?" She asked nonchalantly before walking off.

"I don't know if she can do this." Harper said and Olivia sighed and nodded in agreement, Mrs Cleary wasn't taking things well.

Alex saw that one of the defence attorneys was approaching her and ushered the women away, the last thing she wanted was to have to file a motion about intimidating witnesses.

* * *

It was three weeks later when they finally went to court.

Harper Anderson went first. She sat in the box and gave the testimony about her rape. She wasn't allowed to identify Kenneth Cleary as her rapist because the truth was they didn't know for certain with evidence that it was him, however, her rape was being prosecuted because it was from talking to Kenneth Cleary when investigating Harper's case that Olivia had been able to identify her own attacker.

When Harper finished Olivia was called and after giving the people what they wanted the defence laid into her. They wanted to know the implications of her mother's rape on her life as a sex crimes cop and there was nothing anyone could do to stop that happening. They then played tapes of people's voices and one by one asked her to identify the voices, Elliot, Cragen, Munch, Fin, Brian and even the old man in the bodega by her apartment. She'd proven her knowledge of voices and when they took a lunch break Alex Cabot insured her that she'd probably won them her rape case and possibly even Harper's.

After lunch Olivia and Harper sat hand in hand while Mrs Cleary began giving her testimony. They both knew the woman was ready to explode and Harper didn't quite understand the consequences of an explosion the way that Olivia did. She knew if Mrs Cleary overstepped her mark that a mistrial would happen possibly with prejudice which would mean he wouldn't ever face court or jail for the crimes he committed, the crimes he committed specifically against her because she needed justice, she needed him to be found guilty for someone, the judge, the jury to really acknowledge what the man had put her through by breaking into her apartment and raping her.

However, Mrs Cleary was nowhere near as strong as they thought. Within minutes she was crumbling into a mess and Olivia stopped breathing as the voices got louder and the judge banged the gavel. She waited with bated breath for a mistrial to be granted, without prejudice, it wasn't over, they could re-file if they wanted to.

"No!" She yelled jumping to her feet. "No that son of a bitch raped me and you're letting him walk the streets again!"

"Detective calm down!" The judge called.

"No I will not calm down!" She yelled leaving her seat and approaching the centre of the court room.

Elliot grabbed her so she couldn't hit anyone while she continued yelling.

"That man, Kenneth Cleary broke into my home, he raped me in my own apartment, he held my NYPD issued gun to my head while he destroyed the evidence of his crime and you're letting him go!" She sobbed.

"Detective Benson, one more outburst and I'll find you in contempt."

Olivia went to say something but Elliot's hand found her mouth and she was too weak to fight against him.

"Very wise move Detective Stabler. Alexandra Cabot, if you want to make Detective Benson's case, then file it separately, she's proved she can handle a gruelling rape case."

"Once!" Olivia yelled. "Once… I … I can't do all this again…" She began to shake.

"Olivia, come on, let's go…" Harper said grabbing her shoulder.

Olivia looked at the other victim. Another woman that Kenneth Cleary had abused and taken something from that he had no right in taking.

"Ok." She nodded. "Sorry." She said glancing up at the judge who shook his head softly to show it didn't bother him.

As Olivia, Harper and Mrs Cleary walked outside the press went mad and Harper and Olivia shared a look before Olivia stepped forward.

"A mistrial was just granted in the case of The People Vs. Kenneth Cleary. He just got away with two counts of rape and many other charges. I proved my case, I proved that I know Kenneth Cleary came into my bedroom and raped me… if there are any decent people out there, then they will make sure that the whole state, if not country knows that Kenneth Cleary is a rapist." Olivia said strongly before walking off with Harper and Mrs Cleary.

She felt just a little bit stronger for finding her voice, she didn't care if she outed herself as a rape victim, she gave herself the voice, took her control back for the first time since her rape and she felt a burst of pride inside her, however, it was short lived when Kenneth Cleary and his attorney stepped in front of the camera.

"We don't need to listen to this." Harper told her and with one last look in his direction Olivia walked off with two women who she'd consider friends.


	7. Chapter 7

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN L&O SVU OR ANY OF ITS CHARACTERS OR PLOTLINES, JUST MY OWN. **

**A/N: Ok so here it is the last chapter, I hope you enjoyed!**

**Thank you to everyone who has read and reviewed this story, I'm glad so many of you have enjoyed it and I hope this ending doesn't disappoint!**

"Olivia's not answering her phone." Elliot sighed walking into the office where Cragen, Serena and Alex sat.

"She just need's some space, give her time." Serena said knowing her daughter well enough to know that.

"She went with Mrs Cleary and Harper, she's going to be just fine Elliot." Alex reassured.

"She's strong, but what happened today… it's hurting all of them." Cragen added.

"Are you going to refile?" Serena asked looking at the blonde ADA.

"If Liv will let me yes." Alex said. "He's as guilty as sin and the judge and jury knew that."

When Cragen's phone rang he answered it and the three others in the room watched as his face paled.

"Shot's fired at the Cleary residence. Detective Benson is already on scene." He said shakily and everyone got up. "Elliot, you go, we'll wait here,, call me as soon as you know anything."

* * *

Elliot walked calmly into the house where the scene waited for him. The place was already crawling with law enforcement, people from CSU, SVU, First Responders and the ME.

He walked into the kitchen where most of the hustle and bustle was and saw what he had feared. Olivia, Harper and Mrs Cleary all stood visibly shaken.

Olivia was stood just a few steps back from Harper and Mrs Cleary and she was obviously traumatized and completely frozen.

"What happened?" Elliot asked the anger taking over, he was angry that these women had taken the law into their own hands, he was terrified that Olivia had done something stupid.

"We were here having a coffee when he came banging on the door begging for custody." Mrs Cleary said weakly.

"He came in, we didn't know what to do when he started waving his gun around. Olivia drew hers on him but she was shaking, she couldn't have done anything even if he shot at one of us." Harper added and the way Olivia's head just bowed further and her eyes closed in visible shame Elliot knew that it was true.

"What killed him?" Elliot asked Melinda.

"He was shot eight times. Only twice pre-mortem, the others post mortem. He was shot twice in the chest, then once in each shoulder, each knee and each ankle." Melinda spoke quietly knowing that Elliot would understand everything she was saying. "The two shots to the chest killed him, the others were done about five minutes post-mortem from what I can tell from the wounds."

"Liv didn't kill him did she." Elliot said, it wasn't a question.

"No. I don't think she did. I can guarantee that when the ballistics are ran six of the bullets will match Olivia's on duty glock. The other two will match the gun that Mrs Cleary handed the uniform when they arrived." Melinda said before turning back to the body.

"Who cleaned up in here?" He asked looking at the three women, Olivia was still standing with a bowed head and closed eyes.

"I did… Meredith didn't want the blood seeping into the floor… why?"

"The bleach messes up the residue test Harper and you know that." Elliot snapped, even though he wasn't that angry, Kenneth Cleary deserved everything he got and more.

"Who killed him?" Elliot asked firmly.

"I did, but it was self-defence he said he'd shoot me to get my son, I couldn't let him get my boy." Mrs Meredith Cleary explained weakly and Elliot took a deep breath to calm himself.

"You three will need to come down to the station and give your statements." Elliot said before walking right up to Olivia. "I need your gun Liv." He whispered.

She just nodded without looking at him and took her gun from the holster and placed it in his hand.

"He was already dead El, when I used that gun." She said as he went to walk away.

As he bagged up her gun for evidence her words rang in his ears. 'he was already dead when I used that gun' why mention the specific gun, yes there were three guns on the premises but Olivia should only have shot one, the obvious Glock… that's when realisation hit him.

Olivia had to be interviewed by IAB so while Elliot and Cragen spoke to Mrs Cleary and Munch and Fin spoke to Harper, Olivia was taken into a separate interrogation room to be interviewed by Lieutenant Ed Tucker.

"I want a lawyer." She said as soon as he entered the room.

"Ok." He said. "But if what I've been told is true Detective, then you don't need one."

"I'm … I'm a… I'm a rape … rape victim…" She hiccupped shakily as she supressed the cry she desperately needed. "I… I am easy to… to manipulate into… into getting answers… I'm … I'm not myself." She said honestly and Ed Tucker sat down in the seat opposite her.

"I know that Olivia." He said softly and for the first time her eyes linked onto his and for the first time they didn't look as cold and calculating as they normally looked, for the first time, Ed Tucker looked like he had a heart and soul.

"If what Detective Stabler tells me is the truth and is what you'll say on record now then you have absolutely nothing to worry about." He said and Olivia believed him. "I'll make this as easy as I can for you."

She thought for a moment.

"I can stop and ask for a lawyer at any time?" She asked and Ed Tucker managed to hide his grimace at the tough detective's vulnerability, it was almost childlike.

"Anytime." He promised and Olivia nodded and took a deep forced breath and a slow exhale before giving a firm nod for the tape to begin. "Please state your name and number for the record." He began.

"Detective Olivia Benson badge number four zero one five." She said.

"Detective Benson, why were you at the Cleary Residence early this evening?"

"Harper Anderson was concerned about Mrs Cleary's mental wellbeing after her accidentally causing a mistrial, she was distraught and she asked myself and Harper around for coffee, she wanted to apologise and so we went, mainly because we knew she wasn't ok." Olivia said.

"What happened when Mr Cleary entered the premises?" Tucker's asked his voice still gentle.

"He came in saying he wanted to see his son, and Mrs Cleary said 'over my dead body' and that's when… that's when Mr Cleary pulled out his gun." Olivia replied.

"What happened next?" He pushed.

"Uh… it all happened so fast… he was… he was waving this gun around and…" Olivia's face was fixed in a frown and her voice became a higher pitch with more distressed she got. "and so I … I pulled out my gun… and… and I froze." She admitted closing her eyes in shame. "I've never frozen before. My hand was shaking and I wanted to shoot to disarm I did and I froze and I… I couldn't move so… so Mrs Cleary went into her purse and pulled out this gun and said to him 'just because Detective Benson can't shoot you, I can' and he laughed and said then she should and that's when she fired, twice." Olivia replied.

"What happened next?"

"Mrs Cleary began to panic and I was so spaced out, I could hear her and Harper talking but I… I didn't know why I froze… I was angry and confused and … I don't know why but I walked to the body and I looked down at him and he was bleeding and I pressed my fingers into his neck to look for a pulse and when I didn't find one I stood up, over him and I held my gun out and fired… I fired six times, starting with his left shoulder, then his right, then his knees and then his ankles… I needed to prove I hadn't gone gun shy."

Ed Tucker looked at her as a few stray tears slipped down her cheeks. For some reason, he suspected that this was just a slight version of what actually happened, he was a Lieutenant with years of experience and he could tell when people were lying but the three women were sticking to the story they'd concocted and it was obvious they wouldn't be able to prove otherwise and truth was… he didn't want to know the truth, he hated bent cops but what Olivia did wasn't her getting revenge, it was her getting justice, and she deserved justice.

"Thank you." He said switching the tape off and she nodded. "You're free to go. You'll get your gun back as soon as ballistics have finished up with it as long as there isn't evidence to prove that your version of events isn't a lie." He placed her shield on the table. "Take it and go."

"Thank you." She said honestly and he nodded.

"You will have to see the department shrink its…"

"Protocol, I know… to be honest… I think I'm going to take some time… just to see someone properly and … and really deal with all of this." She told him and he nodded.

"That's understandable, take care of yourself Olivia." He said and she gave him a weak smile before leaving him and entering the empty bullpen.

She was there five minutes before Elliot walked in and sat on the edge of her desk. She looked up from her chair and then back out into the distance and Elliot sighed.

"What really happened Olivia?" He asked. "And please don't lie to me."

"Are you going to repeat it to anyone if I tell you?" She asked.

"No and you know me better than to ask that." He said a little hurt but he also knew that she was hurting.

"I did pull my gun on him and I did… momentarily freeze but by the time I'd built up the courage to shoot him … Harper stood there with her gun… he … he was unarmed Elliot, the gun in his hand is an unregistered back up gun that Harper bought. But anyway, he was there pleading to see his son and then all of a sudden he has two of his victims with guns pointed towards him and he knew it was over for him.

Harper… she told me not to shoot him with my gun and she said that she would take the fall if the plan she had didn't work, she told Mrs Cleary to hold the gun with her and then she told me it was my choice, I didn't have to but I could help them too, we'd all enjoy the… enjoy the pleasure of killing him and I… I did El. I held the gun with them, the three of us had a finger on the trigger and… and…" The tears spilled down her cheeks. "I put the pressure on it, my finger was on top and I… I put the pressure on the trigger and I… I shot him twice and when the gun fell from our hands… the three of us sighed with relief.

Then it all happened so fast, Harper was cleaning up and explaining how we were going to get away with it, she posed the gun and I just stood there for a minute before I knew… I knew I had to shoot him myself with… with _my_ gun, _my_ weapon that I've carried around since I became a cop… so that's when I shot him six times in the way you would to disarm, I know, we don't shoot six times to disarm but the places I shot… it was so I wouldn't ruin the bullets in his chest… El… I'm getting away with murder."

**The end!**


End file.
